How many more souls do we have to satisfy until we earn the badge of honor to be good enough?

Have you ever felt like you are not good enough?

Have you ever felt like you are only second best to someone else?

Have you ever felt incomplete, not accomplished, somewhat a failure?

What does it even mean, “Never good enough”?

Never good enough for whom?

Is it a doom?

Never good enough by whose measures?

In what ways?

Why always seek praise?

Well, imagine a life never good enough

Imagine spending your whole existence never being good enough

Being defined by others, a passerby, a stranger,

A classmate or a neighbor.

But the worst form of never good enough

Is the one that is imposed by those who you love.

By friends, by family, by lover,

By your father or mother,

By partner or someone who you chose to be your mentor

Those who are supposed to accept you unconditionally

Become the ones to treat you as a ‘beloved’ bully

Paradoxical, isn’t it?!

They define you as never good enough

They treat you as the one who always has to strive

Climb up the stairs they laid out for you,

Meet the standards they set out for you.

As a kid, you take the challenge —

You go up the stairs, reach the top,

You meet all the standards to be on par.

But still you never become good enough.

Those who define those goals,

Will come up with new stairs, new standards, new heights.

And no matter how hard you try,

You always end up being the second best,

Never ever reaching their Everest.

Now would you be surprised if I told you, “That was my life”?!

Still is to some extent

As much as I try to fight

As much as I don’t look back,

Erase the memories,

Change the mindsets,

Beat myself up,

Overflow with emotions like a cup

Full of self-hate, self-deprecation, and exhaustion…

How many more souls do we have to satisfy

Until we earn the badge of honor to be good enough?

Good news is that that life is in the past

I declare myself free at long last

I broke the chains you have placed on me

I found the strength to be free

If you’re reading this and wondering,

“What did it take for you to break free?”

I say, “ACCEPTANCE!”

June 14, 2018

I leave you with the “Gift of Acceptance” from India Arie and Idan Raichel

PhD Student, Teachers College, Columbia University #highered #access #internationalization #postSoviet l lifelong learner, curious educator, outgoing introvert